When I was 11, one day a snake in a three-piece suit came into the Principal's office at my grade school. "Hello, fellow human!" he said, "I am, uh, Mr. Slithers! I am the substitute teacher to replace the teacher that owned this exact same suit."
"Oh" exclaimed the Headmaster, "That's great! Mr. Jensen didn't show up, for some reason. And you are wearing his exact same suit? That's odd... HEY!"
"Oh no, I'm buste-"
"That suit cost a lot of money! How can you afford it on a substitue's salary?"
"Oh! My, uh, parent...s my human parents, that I have, are rich. This is literally the only way I got this suit that's exactly the same as the one worn by my good friend Dr. Jansert!"
"You mean Mr. Jensen?"
"Yeah! My buddy Mr. Johnson! Look, I better get to the class to teach the fat little delicious children. I know where it is. Good day, Mr. Principal!"
With that, he came into our class. He asked us to place hide and seek. I hid in a really good place. He didn't tell us when the game ended, but when I came out of my hiding spot, I noticed the substitute slithering down toward the river, his once ill-fitting suit was now practically bursting at the seams.
Eleven of us hid. Only three of us survived.
No comments:
Post a Comment